October 30

It is with sadness that I typed in the date... Cant belive we are heading home today.  Well actually we are leaving for Dehli today.  We still get to go to Aggra and see the Taj mahal and then we get to spend the day in Dehli and have dinner with all the kids who have graduated from the home and are now living in Dehli.  So we still have lots of adventures to come even though this chapter has ended.  Martine, we are slowly on our way home to you.  Lane we will bring you some chocolate, Autumn here we come. (we will bring you all chocolate, they say the airport in london has good chocolate)
- Ps. I forgot to tell you, we sang the "hockie pockie" at church at the top of our lungs, so funny, so fun.

October 29

Today was our last day at the home.  We knew it would be emotional but it was such a sweet sadness.  During the day we finished up the last of our work.  We got most of the projects done.  The only thing left was hanging the eves troughs (spelling?) and they got made but not all hung.  We finished up the painting and then spent the day cleaning up the mess we had made.  We scraped paint of the floor and carried wood, and swept up.  There was a tree that had to be cut back in order to paint all the way around and it was really ugly right at the front of the school, so one girl got the idea to make a birdhouse for it.  So we pulled together some scraps and were going to make a birdhouse when we were done.  There is an older boys ( he is 24) that is from the home, his name is Deepak.  Scott and him have been talking lots and have created a bond.  Well he saw that we were going to make a bird house and so the next morning when we got there he just finishing the roof for us.  He had made a plan in his head how to do it and then we all worked to make this bird house.  It was so sweet that someone who looks so tough on the outside saw what we were doing, our plan was inferior for sure, and helped us out.  It shows his sweet spirit.
- At night we had closing program. (A side note, this part of the trip i dreaded, I thought how awkward but everyone who has come here says it is a highlight and now I know why)  The kids did traditional Indian dances for us. One dance from Napal, one from Punjab, one from Himachial Pradesh (the province we are in).  It was so much fun my face hurt from smiling.  The kids all sit on a carpet in rows and they let us sit cris cross with them, all snuggled up. We all sit so close my feet go to sleep. There is always at least three girls touching you.  After the dances we had bible reading and farewell speeches and things and then as a secret three of the boys on our team had put together a dance to do for the program.  Us girls got wind of it and put together our own dance for the kids.  But the dance the boys did, I have no words.  So funny.  Kyle has bought himself a track suit from the Gorka military base and so he keeps talking about how we is a Gorka.  So he wore his track suit and they danced to a hindi song and tried to do the dance moves that the boys at the home do.(they also did the lawn mower, sprinkler, and the shopping cart.)  It was really awesome how they had picked up on the boys moves and tried to do them.  I actually meant a lot to the boys at the home that they would make fun of them.  The kids have a great sense of humor so it was really cool to bug them back.  At one point i was actually jumping up and down i was laughing so hard.  And no Indian party is complete without fire works. So scary but fun to scream and run for cover.  I stood next to the pregnant lady, I thought that would be the safest.  And after that pounding out the punjabi and hindi dance music (and more justin beiber) and we had a dance party till all the little girls were asleep on their Didis and it was time to go.  Then the goodbyes and then onto the bus at 11pm.  It was a pretty quiet ride home, but it is better to feel sad because it means you have had a good time and have learned to love the kids.  And we really have learned to love the kids, the home, the staff, everything about Shanti Nikatin.
- John 15:16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit - fruit that will last. 

Sleepless in Subathu

Oh no... there is a wedding just below us.  Nothing like Hindi music pounding one floor below us.  5:15am will come too early tomorrow.  Now the speeches have begun.  If we cant sleep maybe we can sneak in and watch it go down.  Nothing like a big fat Indian wedding.  Goodnight (I hope)

Pictures

 This is the chaple at the home that we have church at.

 Dont worry, this is just the primer.  It is not a barbie school.

At church.  Well actually, before church.  The kids sit very well and listen.

October 28

Today was Church.  So fun to go to church. Everyone dresses in their Sunday best, including high heels and fancy hair bows.  The big girls are all so cute in their ridiculous high heels.  Powder pink strappy heels.  I was told today that "here in India, we like it fancy" No kidding.  I love it fancy too, they look so beautiful. The kids just belt out the singing.  It is almost overwhelming.  At church at home the music plays and the voices follow along.  Not here, just like so many thing that are opposite from home.  Here the voices set the tempo and the drums try to keep up and at one point the guitars just gave up because we could not hear them anyhow.  It is as if the voices are pushing the song along.  You cant even describe  what it is like to hear them sing "more love more power" in Hindi.  Unlike anything I will ever experience ever again.  After church we took a bus down to the river for an afternoon of picnic and swimming. The hotel sent lunch for all of us.  Free of charge, which is amazing because we were a  small village.  We told the hotel manager tonight that the kids really enjoyed it and he got a little chocked up.  It is amazing the relationship that is being built here.  As we were at the river on the hill side there was a temple of Shiva.  So as we sat and had our picnic we were reminded of Psalm 23 - You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. -  It could not be more literal.  Praise be to God.

Dear Lane, Martine and Autumn

Dear Kids
I am missing you a lot.  We are kept busy but every now and then it creeps up on me that no one has called me Mom for a while.  It has really struck me how happy and secure you are.  As I talk to you on Skype I can see how much you are loved.  How blessed you are to have so many people to love you.  Thank you for sharing your parents.  Thank you for letting us go and serve other kids and being brave while we are gone.  Lane, Thank you for being the leader that you are.  I know I can trust you with your sisters and that you will be so brave and I am so proud of you. Martine, I love how tender hearted you are and how you treat everyone with respect.  I love that I can count on you to be brave even when you dont want to be.  Autumn, I enjoy your spark and how much you add to each day.  How you are always so full of joy.  We are so blessed to be a family.  So blessed to be together and I really value your self control, confidance, and the way you stick together.  Daddy and I are so blessed to have you.  We do not deserve you but are glad God has blessed us with you. 
-Who are we that the Lord has blessed us.
We love you, see you soon

October 24

Today was a pretty dull day.  More paint and as the day wore on I was feeling more and more board until... The birthday party.  We had the party for all the kids who have a birthday in October. (including one of our team)  They did a program with dances and mock game shows ( where they mocked Kyle) and then they had cake cutting and gift for each birthday kid.  It was so much fun, actually everything they do here is so much fun.  The kids just embrace you and then they are so quick to laugh their guts out.  They hug you and hold your hand and really make you feel like you are one of them (except that you dont speak Hindi).  We were leaving one day and the girls all yelled at me " Didi you didnt come and play, we have a new game for you"  So now every day it is a priority to go down and see the big girls ( the little ones dont speak english hardly at all) and we play running games or ball throwing games.  There is a big hill down to their dorm and they roll a rubber tire down the hill and race it.  So funny to watch, even Scott did it and he beat the tire twice (huge accomplishment) I is a really nice way to end a hard day.

 Attie, this is Scotts handywork.

- The power here is a little scetchy.  The lights go out all the time, only for a minute or two but when you are in the shower of washroom in the dinning room, it gets a little scary.  Also I plugged in my flat iron and there was way too much power and it totally melted.  I had used it before but that night there had been a thunder storm and so it totally fried.  Good thing the sprinklers didnt go off. wouldnt I be popular.

October 22

Today was all about work.  It is monday and we are back to work.  At our devotions today one of the Didi's who look after the kids shared her story.  She told how she was afraid to come and work at the home because her friends told her, her life would be hard.  But she was so glad she did and she kept saying in her broken english " God's hands are too long".  So great to see God from these peoples point of view. We are so different yet so much the same. 
- One thing about the houses perched on the side of the mountains is that most of  them are not finished.  I guess that is you dont finish your home you dont need to pay taxes.  Also with the re-bar sticking out at any time you can add another floor to your house.
- Most of the people who live on the side of the mountain walk all the way up to the road to collect water.  So each morning you see them filling their water containers. Or walking back from a shrine that is on the side of the road.  Also those big trucks park all over on the side of the road as the drivers sleep in them on the side of the road.  There are dogs too but not a lot of monkeys. Which i am glad for.  There is also an army truck (one of those big canvas covered ones) that the soldiers drive each morning and pick up the kids for school on the military base.  So you get guys in full army camo and then 20 school kids sticking their arms out waving and screaming.  That is a highlight of our trip down to the home in the morning.

- Just down the road from us there is an orange shrine.  The holy man who lives in there wears orange too.  He has a long dirty beard and now that it is festivel time he also has orange lights.  As we drove by tonight he was standing out front of his place on the side of the road and he was talking on his cell phone.  So many strange thing that happen in India.

Picture time #2

 Let the hard work begin.

 The view from the roof (both pictures)

Picture time

 Dehli Traffic

 At Shanti, having Chai

October 21

BEST DAY EVER.  Today we danced.  It is Sunday so we got to sleep in and go to Sunday school with the little kids at the home.  Our team lead worship and their big girls sang.  They sing so loud it almost blows you down.  So amazing to hear them worship. Then we went up the hill to Subathu and went to big church.  The church building was built in 1877 and was a small little church.  So great to go to church all together.  After that we got to go down to the village market.  Us girls went on a girl shopping trip looking for scarves.  Some girls from the home came with us to help us find what we wanted.  We went into this scarf shop and they took us to the back and we sat down and the men at the shop took out scarf after scarf for us and we just had to sit there and tell him which ones we wanted to see.  So much fun (Yes, Teeny I got you your scarves) Then we all walked together down to the home from the village.  The kids are so affectionate here. As we walked, Sonam took my hand and we walked hand in hand back home.  She is about 17 years old and we had such a great day together with all the girls.  We got to spend our lazy sunday afternoon making string bracelets and getting to know each other and seeing how they all are together.  And after that.... we danced.  We had the biggest dance party.  They set up the music in the multipurpose hall in the school and pound the toons.  And then we danced till we were sweating.  We danced to Justin Bieber (sorry Lane) and we danced to Hindi.  We danced to Bollywood and we danced with kids on our head (Scott did)  We had such a great time.  The kids were dancing machines.  It really is great to see how the staff set this up for the kids, because they really could just not bother.  But they clearly love it and so the staff set it up for them and that is so amazing.  After that we had to say goodnight and do more huging and hand holding.  I love how openly they have accepted  us and how they want to be with us.  Today was a great day.  Today was a great day of rest, tomorrow we work. 

October 20

Psalm 8:4  - What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?
Today was a great day.  It is amazing as we hear the stories of those who are here how God has brought us all together.  It is amazing to hear the story of the home.  How Moony has been there for 20 years, and how the place looked in not too many years past.  To hear the stories of the Kids who get to live here.  I say get to live here because many of them would have been on the street.  Most have at least one parent who has expired (died) and either their remaining parent could not look out for them or also expired.  In one story the older brother only had enough train fare to send 2 of his 3 siblings.  So him and his sister were sent to the home while another sister could not come.  Some have parents still and are looking forward to going to see them on winter break.  The stories are heart breaking but what God is doing in the home is amazing.  These kids are smiling and full of fun.  They say they are happy now because they have lots of brother and sisters and also lots of Didi's (auties).  It is amazing how well they treat each other too.  They encourage one another and tease one another.  It is great to be here.  One thing about the India culture that is opposite to ours is physical contact. We were instructed to not be overly touchy feely even as a married couple, and one guy was teasing us but asked why we sit next to each other.  Him and his wife dont sit next to each other.  But Male physical contact is normal.  When they said that in our training weekend we all laughed and the guys kind of just laughed it off.  But here the Males are touchy.  It is really cool to see how our team has embraced that.  The guys have really gotten into putting hands on shoulders and huging the boys from the home and each other.  It is a really neat thing to see.  I may sound strange from at home but it has brought a lot of unity to the boys.  Really neat to see how they can connect with the boys from the home and each other better.  I think it may be bring out their tender side.  Love it here.

October 19

Today we paint... and roof.  I have been painting class rooms and bricks and railings.  Scott has been climbing around on the roof, becoming brave.  Scott also shared a bit about himself at staff devotions today.  The director of the home is named Moony. She is a small, serious faced, gigantic hearted woman.  After Scott shared his story she came over to talk with us and was saying thank you and thing when she said this one thing it totally stuck in my head. (insert broken english) " I dont know why you are here, but to obey is better" (as in obey God's calling to come to India)  I dont think i could say it better with a thousand words.  To obey is better, regardless of why we are here.  We got to play Soccer at the end of the day with the kids.  Actually the big boys get to play because it is far too rough for anyone else to play.  So I watched as they play.  One thing that I have noticed here is that the girls seem to hide out.  The boys are all over the place but the girls are no where to be seen.  Tomorrow we are going to see if they are hiding in their dorms.  Maybe they will want to play a game with us. 
Funny story - For those of you who know Kyle, he is a friend traveling with us.  He has a huge appitite.  Well this morning him and another guy ordered Ice cream after breakfast.  They sat and ate ice cream and then got onto the bus.  Bad plan.  By the time we got to the home down the very bummpy winndy road they were groaning and laying on the ground.  So funny.  I guess maybe not such a great idea.

Interesting story - There is a lot of technology here.  Everyone has a cell phone.  We are out in the mountain area and almost in the middle of nowhere.  There are ladies that cut the grass on the side of the road and take it to feed their animals.  So they cut the weeds down and pile them on their heads and walk down the road.  The other day as we drove by them I noticed that one of the ladies had her cell phone in her hand.  100 year old tradition, with a cell phone.  The road down to the home is so fun to ride on.  The bus driver is so great too.  He is from the home and so he seems to fit right in with us as they are used to having teams there.  At the end of each trip home we are cheer for him and he laughs at us.  The guys at the back also egg him on to pass and he seems to really enjoy driving us around.  Our team really seem to get along well so far.  We are a roudy bunch.  But one thing I have noticed is how stoick everyone here is.  So serious and it has really struck me how happy we are in our culture.  Sure there are crabby people but if you go out you will usually see people laughting together or smiling to each other.  Things here are very serious.  I think that is what makes the home such a jewel.  It is almost as if the kids do not have to be so serious now because they have been saved from that culture.  I dont know but it seems to be that way and it makes me proud that everytime our bus drives by people have started smiling at us,even if they are laughing at us.

October 18

So today... we paint again.  And the day after that and the day after that and the day after that.  You get the point.  There is a lot of painting needing to be done. But today we had help.  During Chai (third one of the day) Scott and Joe were talking with some of the medium boys and they told them that if we got our work done we could play.  So before we could even get up the stairs again they were up there with our roller and paintbrushes and wearing my gloves, painting their hearts out.  We were done at 5;15 and could play till the bus came at 6:15.  Actually I got to play Scott was on roof duty so he didnt get to play until the end.  We played monkey in the middle with a soccer ball and when I started the game Raj (who is 5) was playing and by the time the game ended there were only big boys playing.  I was totally out of my league, good thing these boys are polite.  And speaking of polite I got my nick name today.  Joanne is too hard to say so they are calling her Hannah and they are calling me Treasure because I am Scott's treasure.  That is a nike name I could get used to.  Today was a good day.

October 17

Today we work... the painting and hammering and raking has begun.  The day started out with our trip up the mountains in the school bus. Now sometimes people here ride on the roof if the bus is full so some of our team has taken to riding on the roof to and from the home.  As we drive by the people always wave at us crazy people riding on the roof when our bus is clearly not full.  We drive through a military base to get to the childerens home and everything is very clean and well kept.  Then down the hill we go to Shanti.  The home is like a small jewel on the side of a mountain.  So clean and looked after.  Dont get me wrong it is in need of work but what is here is so clean and neat.  So when we get to the home we had devotions with the staff on top of a roof top overlooking the himyalayas. (dont know how to spell that but they are beautiful)  They feed us Chai 5 times a day and morning devotions is the first Chai.  We get cookies too with our Chai.  The one crazy thing about this whole adventure is how much Peace I have about everything.  I feel so laid back about everything and i find myself comforting others who are having a hard time.  I have such a peace that it can only be from God, cause this is clearly not how I roll.  I am so thankful he saw me and had mercy on me and delivered me from all my fears. verse of the day Psalm 28:6 - Praise be to the Lord for he has heard my cry for mercy. 

October 16

Today we took the train.  We had a very crazy, crazy trip through the train station.  Men in red shirts were the porters and as soon as we pulled in on our bus the looked at us as if we were fresh meat.  They began to carry our bags across 4 lanes of bus/motorbike/car traffic and when you have 24 people and bag for the home too that was bedlum.  We just grabbed what was ours and followed our porter for all we are worth.  When we made it to the platform with our bags in tact we breathed a sigh of relief. We then got on our train for the four hour ride north to Kalka.  I had the pleasure of using a squaty potty on the train. No small feat on a bumping train.  We had Chai and watched the sights slide by.  There was a lot of poverty in the country as we rode by.  So much sadness that these people have to endure.  So sad to watch the villages with their srines and so much dispare.  On the sides of the tracks ever now and then there would be piles of cow patties that you could tell were made the same shape and size and laying out in the sun to dry.  They use these to start fires and so need to make these.  So many different things to see.  One last funny thing, in India it is a compliment to call a woman Fat.  It means she is well taken care of.  And when we were shopping the girl on our team asked the man where the pants were and he said "for you? oh no you need a large, you're big"  We both looked at each other and laughed and she just brushed it off.  But then when we got to the home they said to another girl "oh your getting so fat" and then we got it.  They were trying to compliment them.  So maybe by the time I get home I can be fat too, because of all the Roti and Naan.

October 15

Dehli is sleeping now.  With a city of 18 Million people it is very quiet.  In Toronto or Vancouver it is never this quite.  People are going and doing - always.  But for now in Dehli the horns have stopped blasting.  All the cots have been pulled across the sidewalk and some people even sleep barefoot on the ground.  The police have baricads at each intersection and they must have pulled those closed last night, maybe to provide a quiet night sleep for those sleeping on the side walk.  There is a dog sleeping right in the middle of the street under a street light.  The one thing that strikes me here is how orange the lights are.  They dont have that white high efficiant glow that we have at home.  And on the pole over the light is a big ball of wires.  I am so thankful that Paul and Su took us to New Dehli not Old Dehli.  Our hearts are bleeding now and we have not seen the worst yet.  Scott is having a hard time, and I am finding that sunglasses are my friend.  They not only cover the tears but they provide cover for my eyes and the baggers cant make eye contact so they pretty much leave me alone.  I did have one young (7ish) girl following me.  I stopped and said "no honey" so she finally left my side.  Dehli has broken our hearts and left us speechless, which is not an easy thing to do.  I find myself looking forward to each meal, the food is so good.The whole experiance of our day in Dehli was worth the whole trip here.  If I had to leave India today it would owe me nothing.

Brave

I have been thinking a lot lately about being brave.  I think that if you are brave it does not mean you are not scared of things, it means you are scared of things but you do them anyways.  Yesterday I watched my little girl do two things that she had to be very brave to do.(some of us in our family suffer with Fear.  It has been something I have fought against my whole life.  And only by the grace of God, have I been able to overcome my fear and have tried to teach those in our family that suffer too to overcome as well.)  I watched Autumn eat food she did not know, and pet a dog she just met.  Now to most people that really would not be a big deal.  But to her, it was huge.  She beamed at me after at how brave she was and I choked up a little just to see how much it took her to do those things and how she did them anyways.  Then I got to thinking.... how am I any different.  I have always wanted to "go" but have been terrified by every corner of life.  I always had great examples of how to take life by the horns (thank you Mom and Dad) but have always been steeping in my fear.  But somehow God saw me in my pitiful state and has taught me to do things i am afraid of.  He has taught me to be brave.  And looking down at Autumn's face at how brave she was made me want to be brave too.  So here I go.... I am being brave too. I will do what God asked of me and will trust him to keep me safe.  This is huge for me.

Last few days...

So I think it has finally hit me that in the next few days I will be leaving the kids.  I seem to be hugging more, smelling them more (some if you will get this and some of you wont) and just being more intentional of how I interact with them.  We have been talking about me leaving, and how that will be.  I also noticed how much they are a part of our working household.  While trying to explain thing about were stuff is, I keep saying "just ask Teeny, or get Lane to show you"  I have noticed even Autumn knows how to put her clothes away.  This just creeped up on us.  But they actually do help out around here. (you would never know by the mess around here)  They are really growing up and I am noticing how much I trust them.  I am so proud of the big kids in my house. So proud of the way they have become part of our team.  I am proud to be their Mom.

The Waiting

If there is one thing I am not good at, it is waiting.  Why does it take so long.  Why is it that everything worth doing is hard and takes a long time.  I have been up and down on this journey to get to India so many times, it has left me excited and wrung out. Some days I am so brittle in my soul that I cry at the thought of those beautiful faces in the home. Some days I feel the oppression of the sadness that I am about to face.  Some days I feel lost in this new world of uncertainty that we have been lead into. And some days my heart bubbles up inside me and overflows with Joy at the mear mention of this all coming together.  I just cant believe that what I have dreamed of my whole life (going to India) has now become a reality.  And yet it is peppered with the weight of what we are really doing.  Some times I just say to myself " relax you are just going to do a job and come home"  but the truth of the matter is, we are not. It is not just about this trip.  It is about our life and how we live it. We are part of so much more, at risk of so much more.  We could be tempted to bounce along thinking we have all the answers when we clearly do not.  In our culture we think "stuff" and "me" are all there is, all the while heading to a culture that values "Faith" (used loosely) and "Family" are all there is.  We will be opposite completely.  I am trying not to put expectations on this trip with the exception that My God will show up and tell me what he has been trying to tell me for a while. But I have not been able to hear him over the loud, clingy, self involved life that I live here.  I will go.... and I will wait.... and I will be his hands if he wants me to be.... I will listen.... I will learn.  My only hope is that He spares me from who I am now and creates in me a New Life....

Phrase of the Day

"It will all be perfect in the end, and if everything is not perfect...it is not the end."

My feet have not hit the floor

So next week we are leaving.  On Friday at 11:20am the bus is coming to pick us up at the church.  And last Friday at 11:20 am I was at the church dropping off last bits of paperwork and picking up tickets.  Crazy coincidence I think not. I am so excited to go that my feet have not hit the floor for a while.  I find myself doing a dance/clap thing often during the day.  The kids and I have been putting on Indie Gold so I can practice my dance moves for when we have dance parties with kids at Shanti Niketan.  I am so ready for this great adventure.